Thursday, March 13, 2014

They May Try To DeFame Or Bully You

There is no doubt that when you choose to speak publicly, put yourself out there, or speak your truth there maybe those who dislike you and what you have to say.   I had a friend post this question on her Facebook page and I liked my own personal response enough that I decided to share both the question and my answer here.

here's a question - has anyone here ever had someone try to defame them or disparage them publicly. and maybe the question goes to bullying or trolling or nastiness in general - in the age of the internet is IGNORING someone's "attacks' and taking the high road the best? or is it better to "stand up to" a bully and speak. or does speaking acknowledge and engage something that is better left unacknowledged? what have your experiences been with bullies, snipers, backstabbers, etc. who has some wisdom they want to share on this? how have you handled this in your own life? or on behalf of a child, friend or client?

From Marian:
Oh, oh oh. I realize you may know some of what I say, I hope other pieces add to your insights already gained.... and enjoy parts (if not the entire thing)


First, learn from it all you can.
I completely disagree with those who say ignore it, there is to much juicy goodness you can draw from this!!! No matter how wrong they are there is a lesson in avoiding such people or situations in the future.
Second, write, write write.
I would start with writing out your feelings in a letter or two that you destroy. Negative things that have been stirred up need to be expressed. After you have written a couple versions you can write a summary version for a journal to keep. THEN consider if you need to actually verbalize or publish something public or if you can just grant that the angels will send the appropriate messages to the right people at the right time.
Third, if you do need to say/write something public I would start on a blog or newsletter addressed to those who know you well to refute the negative messages or express your true feelings in case they see or hear the negative...
LAST resort, go directly or write directly to the person.